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Joke of the Day

"Be careful when you're watching a movie with your wife. You're gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does."

"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard? A pillow fight"

"Why aren't people from the Westboro Baptist Church archaeologists? Because they are *homo*phobes."

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"What's the difference between white time and black time (Warning. Dad joke) The size of their clock."

"How many corpses does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently more than 3, because it's been a week and my basement is still dark."

"I wish life was like a bad hand of spades No Trumps . . . . . . . . . ...I'll see myself out."

"Was forced to have a threesome with a clown and a grizzly. Just had to grin and bear it."

"What did the tie say to the neck? I think I'll just hang around."

"What do you do to an aggressive vegan? Shove your meat in their face."