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Joke of the Day

"""Where are you all going?"" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. ""You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band"

"Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival? He ate something that disagreed with him"

"Three tampons are walking down the road. What one says hi? **None!** Their all *stuck up bitches!*"

"What did the town say to it's father, the city, when it left to get groceries Ciudad"

"You know a girl is too young for you... If you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth Credit: Jimmy Carr"

"Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses. So they won't shit during parades."

"shit. the number the girl at the Sprint store gave me is MY number"

"Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0"

"I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either."

"Critics are calling my performance of Wife Pretending To Care About Her Husband's Work Story ""emotionally charged"" and ""daring""."