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Joke of the Day

"Critics are calling my performance of Wife Pretending To Care About Her Husband's Work Story ""emotionally charged"" and ""daring""."

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'"

"My anniversary is coming up Friday is my anniversary, I'll have been married for 35 years. Really it only 5 years, but I count in dog years because my wife is such a bitch."

"Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ? Because she wants to rise and shine."

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"What is a Jedi's Favorite Italian Dessert? Obi-Wan....Cannoli!"

"An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion."

"I'd love the chance to relive my life, then I'd know exactly what people to kick in the crotch immediately upon meeting them."

"My friend just joined a reggae band playing the triangle, he says it's easy... All he has to do is stand at the back 'n' ting."

"What if one of your testicle is smaller than other? What would you do?"