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Joke of the Day

"You know a girl is too young for you... If you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth Credit: Jimmy Carr"

"What did the depressed muppet say? I want to Kermit suicide."

"Dear guy lighting bottle rocket fuses with a cigarette that's still in your mouth, You're going as a pirate for Halloween."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind."

"I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday... Never again. Credit: Tim Vine."

"Italian Knock knock Knock a knock - who's there - Ayatollah - Ayatollah who? - Ayatollah you already."

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering."

"If you have a donkey and I have a rooster, and your donkey bites off my roosters feet. What do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass"

"This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me"

"Why are vacuum cleaners made by gays the best? Because they really suck."