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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0"

"Why would peter pan make a terrible pilot Because he'd neverland."

"What's the cure for world hunger? Food"

"""Super Mario, come quick! Bowser kidnapped the princess!"" -That fucking coward! I'll kill him! Which way did he go? -He went to the left. -**Goddammit!!!**"

"You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me."

"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."

"All the toys in Toy Story are pervs Their whole world and life revolves around being played with by little kids."

"""IM GOING INTO LABOR"" -Mexican guy excited to start his first day of work."

"Why do they call a wolf a wolf? Because it goes wolf!"

"I see said the blind man... ...as he picked up his hammer and saw."