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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] My new girlfriend just introduced me to her fetish.... I didn't want to tell anyone, but I just had to get this shit off my chest."

"I replaced the bulb in my refrigerator with a tanning bulb... that way if I ever get fat, at least I'll have nice color."

"""Hello flight 56 if you hear me rock your wings.."" ""OK TOWER IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"""

"What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas? A leaf blower"

"I told my waiter the same thing i told my plastic surgeon. Give me chicken breasts."

"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."

"[god creating ants] Anteater: finally"

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan"

"A Day in Court"

"There was an indecisive buddha... ...his mantra was 'ummmm'"