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Joke of the Day

"[god creating ants] Anteater: finally"

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"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."
"How do you help a woman going through menopause You hit menoplay"
"A one liner for the holiday, say no to drugs... Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"
"LPT: If you want to get all green lights just try to send a text."
"Don't make fun of a fat person with a lisp... ...they're probably thick and tired of it."
"How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer? The extrovert looks at your feet when talking."
"""Vodka, Sambuca, Tequila, Jager!"" I'm calling the shots."
"Flirting is dangerous business. One wrong move and you're committed."
"a man walks into a bar he falls to the floor unconscious. oldy, but a goody."