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Joke of the Day

"""Hello flight 56 if you hear me rock your wings.."" ""OK TOWER IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"""

"I know how to feed a nation...but will she eat it?"

"Maybe Aliens don't visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move."

"Four is equal to five Theorem: 4 = 5 Proof: -20 = -20 16 - 36 = 25 - 45 4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5 4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4 (4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2 4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2 4 = 5"

"""Hustle back on defense you lazy bastard!"" screamed the 300 lb guy at the TV in this sports bar eating onion rings at 10:30 AM."

"Women - What is the similarity between women and garbagebags? - You fill them up and toss them out the door!"

"I tried to take up juggling... But I just didn't have the balls... I'm not even sorry"

"What is the ultimate pleasure? To rub peanut butter on your dick and then run through a kindergarten."

"A boy bought some Tesco burgers from the canteen, The dinnerlady asked what he wanted on them. The boy replied: ""I'll have 5 each way!"""

"What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !"