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Joke of the Day

"I replaced the bulb in my refrigerator with a tanning bulb... that way if I ever get fat, at least I'll have nice color."

"Whenever I see a new couple on a date I walk up to their table, hold up my phone and tell the guy ""You're Wife Sarah says hello""."

"Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta? When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt."

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""

"I'm so thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you get on a picture."

"What's an otaku's favorite transition metal? Manga-nese!"

"Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners"

"What do you call an Irishman passed out on your deck? Paddy O'Furniture"

"A poem for you I dig... You dig... We dig... He dig... She dig... They dig... ******** It's not a very beautiful poem but it's quite deep"

"You never have to worry about Starbucks running short on coffee. I hear they always have a latte"