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Joke of the Day
"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when your ex is dating someone who looks just like you."
"The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses."
"Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? Because she was in the non-friction section."
"So I have this friend who's addicted to drinking brake fluid... but he tells me not to worry, he can stop anytime he wants."
"Unexpected sex that's a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison..."
"[Cop arresting a centipede] *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *opens crate of new handcuffs* *clink* *clink* *clin"
"What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pit bull doing so? The pit bull gets to finish."
"Ladies call me ""the turkey sandwich"" because I seem bland and boring at first, but then I continue to be boring."
"A man walks out of a bar Which is weird, considering it's a solid object."