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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing more deceitful than the word ""booby trap""."

"[home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here."

"Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither"

"[If my dog could talk] DUDE, IT'S BEEN 9 YEARS. I GET IT. I'M A GOOD BOY"

"My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried... Apparently ""Balls deep in your sister"" was not the answer she was expecting."

"What not to do on a first date: ask what gender they are."

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"Telling a girl to calm down: works about as well as trying to baptize a cat."

"What does E.T. stand for? Freedom of speech"

"I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch."