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Joke of the Day

"Got a HJ (""handjob"") from a FRUIT! [NSFW if you can't have handjob jokes @ W] He gave apple and made me kumquats!"

"What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip."

"Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? A: Some traffic signs say stop."

"Life hack: Never actually say the words 'Life hack' out loud."

"Guys, how can you tell the girl your having sex with is faking an orgasm? Who cares."

"Why don't ants get sick? They have little antibodies"

"What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?. Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly."

"What does a skeleton use to carry his bones? A CART-ilage"

"If you get raped... Then at least you know there is someone in the world who wants you."

"What do you find at an end of the rainbow? Violet"