133144

Joke of the Day

"I like my baked beans how I like my women... http://imgur.com/tePZMFy"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff."

"Magician: ""Think of a card."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!"" Me: ""I was thinking about a get well soon card."""

"the fact that im 29 and buttholes and poop are still really funny to me says more about the staying power of buttholes than it does about me"

"Snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep."

"I was licking this girl all over her face right up until she explained to me what doggy style was."

"ME: i'd like to get rid of all this PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body ME: and my head"

"Have you seen the movie ""Constipation""? Of course you haven't.. it hasn't came out yet."

"My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule."

"Rap is 75% Crap..."