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Joke of the Day

"the fact that im 29 and buttholes and poop are still really funny to me says more about the staying power of buttholes than it does about me"

"Just got back in the USA, I heard something about a party here? I don't know, there's a song about it and everything."

"Where do Russians get their milk from? From moscow"

"What do you call it when many people drown in Berlin? A killing Spree."

"What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time? A line of marathon runners"

"A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get screwed."

"Hows Donald Trump gonna get rid of all the Mexicans? Juan by Juan."

"Yo mama's so fat... Instead of a cartwheel she does a ferriswheel."

"*Judge raises hammer* ""I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE"" -*defendant chuckles* ""I'm already alive you MORON!"""

"[Courtroom] Judge: Have you been up before me? Convict: I don't know, Judge. What time were you up this morning?"