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Joke of the Day

"the fact that im 29 and buttholes and poop are still really funny to me says more about the staying power of buttholes than it does about me"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? ""Broken Pencil."" ""Broken Pencil Who?"" ""Never mind, it's pointless."""

"I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house. Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity."

"Do you know what I miss about my childhood? Not caring about spelling and chocolate milf"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again."

"There's been a surge in public sex lately. These people are fucking everywhere."

"How to make a charity 1. find someone in need 2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone 3. ??? 4. nonprofit"

"Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle."

"First time I saw the Trojan bare skin condoms I was like, what? Bear skin? That seems unpleasant."

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because people are dying to get in."