511

Joke of the Day

"I was licking this girl all over her face right up until she explained to me what doggy style was."

"What did the bishop say to the priest? It's my turn."

"Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters."

"Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job."

"I'm pretty sure God is a Black Woman Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?"

"What concert cost 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback."

"I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male."

"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"

"What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife? He was thrown out at home. *alternate response* - His two balls got a strike."

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain't no sandwiches either."