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Joke of the Day

"I entered a contest to see how fast I could eat a clock. I didn't win. The whole ordeal was very time consuming."

"Thank God you've updated your status to ""Finished lunch"" after you first posted ""Going to lunch"" I really couldn't tolerate more suspense."

"whats 6 inches long, red, and makes cry my girlfriend cry when i feed it to her her miscarriage"

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"Want to hear a funny joke? Women's rights."

"I bet the inventor of puppets has one hell of a creepy backstory."

"in 1st grade a kid teased me by saying the pink power ranger was my girlfriend, which, man, that would have been quite a pull for a 6-yr-old"

"Your mom is like a moped She's a little slow but still fun to ride."

"Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers? To stop it from falling out."

"What does Bill Gates call his manhood? Microsoft."