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Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"Is it gay in here or is it just Glee?"

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a gun to it's head and tell it to."

"What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor? tppppthh....""spit sound"""

"I named my boobs... I named my boobs All and Hell, 'cause when my bra comes off All Hell breaks loose."

"Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon."

"What does the daddy gun have when he becomes a father? A bb gun."

"What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Trump's tie"

"What's the difference between committing seppuku and impaling yourself with a sword? They're the same thing but committing seppuku comes with a little twist."

"I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering ""Your end is nigh, letter boy."""