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Joke of the Day

"I bet the inventor of puppets has one hell of a creepy backstory."

"Everyone's a contrarian these days... Well, except for me of course."

"There's a girl that I hate in my office that's white but looks like 'Precious'. I've been calling her ""Pressure"" & blaming my farts on her."

"My friend told me to stop speaking in numbers... but I didn't 1 2."

"Joke my brother told when he was little..... Why did the cannibal cross the road..... To get to the body shop......"

"- ""Did you know you can make a pizza crust out of cauliflower?"" - ""I'm going to reactivate my Facebook so I can unfriend you there too"""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? Nobody wants a garbanzo bean on their face....ha!"

"Called a plumber out the other day. He was Chinese. Called a builder, he was also Chinese. Called an electrician out. He was Chinese as well ! Bloody Yellow Pages"

"I wrote a song about a coal digger having sex with a 15 year old. I call it 'A Miner in a Minor' in A minor."

"A Funeral Director isn't the best position in this economy... It's a dying trade"