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Joke of the Day

"I bet the inventor of puppets has one hell of a creepy backstory."

"A Jewish boy asks his father: ""Father, can I please borrow 50 dollars?"" The father replies: ""40 dollars! What on earth do you need 30 dollars for!?"""

"[mastercard commercial] ""there are some things that money can't buy"" politician: i don't get it"

"An ATM machine that gives you a hug and whispers 'Everything will be ok' into your ear when you check your account balance."

"Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says ""Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"""

"Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy? Because Opey never delivered."

"What happens if you put a mirror in a garage? A mirage!"

"If you notice This notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing."

"My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention."

"When Eminem, wrote Recovery, obviously he wanted to Recover. Akon wrote Freedom, because he wanted freedom. And Justin Bieber wrote boyfriend, hhmmmm......"