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Joke of the Day

"My grandma died after eating too many gingerbread houses last night... The doctors diagnosed her with a rare case of ""munch-housing-syndrom"""

"don't feel too bad for people with chronic amnesia. they can watch Breaking Bad for the first time over and over."

"""My desires are... unconventional."" ""Show me."" *opens door to a room full of memes*"

"Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing."

"Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode"

"*bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!"

"[job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes"

"Why did Darwin love CSS? Because children inherit properties from their parents."

"If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them"

"You shouldn't personify inanimate objects. They hate it when you do that."