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Joke of the Day

"Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode"

"There are two types of girls; girls who are fat and girls who think they are fat."

"Why do so many Asians wear glasses? All that squinting gives them astigmatism"

"I decided for dinner to make the Duck confit As I was in a really fowl mood."

"How do you hit on a Jewish girl? Tell her that she israeli hot!"

"What is the friend zone? It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend."

"What do you get if you cross an owl with a donkey? A Wise Ass."

"When asked why he swallowed so much jizz, Rod Stewart would only say: ""My heart can't tell me no"""

"Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me."

"BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of."