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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing."
Next Joke
"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday."
"(Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet."
"Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?"
"So this kid in my anatomy class asked where the gluteus maximus was... In my opinion it was a dumb, ass question."
"My husband's signature move in bed is to roll over and take eighty percent of the covers with him."
"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""
"Recursion What does the ""B"" Stand for in ""Benoit B. Mandelbrot""? Benoit B. Mandelbrot."
"What did the anti-vaccer say to her son? I miss you."
"""Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."" ""10 kilograms you say?"" ""Yeah, 5 kilograms"""