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Joke of the Day

"What fun drink can put your kid to sleep? Bleach"

"Birthdays are good for us... Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."

"I always smoke after sex. I've quit now for 16 years."

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism"

"I call my Missus's mimsy 'The Tardis' Not because it's bigger inside than I expected. It's just that she's had several dozen companions and at least one dog in there."

"I farted today and 4 people turned around.. I felt like I was on The Voice."

"If the earth is round why is there no round 2?"

"What gets louder as its gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."

"Did you hear about the dancing girl? She danced on one leg and then the other, but she made her living between the two of them."

"Why can't you keep Jews in jail? They eat lox!"