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Joke of the Day
"Birthdays are good for us... Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."
Next Joke
"Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President."
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt."
"[at church] ""I'm here for the blood."""
"Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?"
"My corduroy pillow has been making headlines all week."
"We get it poets: things are like other things"
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."
"Did you know they're killing off a main character in my little pony? There's no more apple jack."
"What is a pirate's favorite letter?"