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Joke of the Day

"Why is it okay for an ice company to commit fraud? Their assets are already frozen!"

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... Now it doesn't work."

"One of the worst things you can possibly do to someone is return their text with a call."

"I have a gun by my bed. So in the event of an intruder, I can shoot myself to avoid having to interact with a human being."

"Kill him, he's different! -History"

"Whats the difference between an Audi and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"

"What did the wise man say to the science class? Many photons make light work."

"My girlfriend stormed off after she accused me of cheating and I denied it. But no, I really wasn't fucking anyone named Sirius."

"I ain't votin' for Trump He wants to build a wall and walls are what killed Dale Earnhardt"

"What do you call a Gay Dictator? A bendy ruler."