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Joke of the Day

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... Now it doesn't work."

"One day I ask my father for $5 He said $4!!!! But why you need $3 for? $2 should be enough. You know what here's $1 and bring me back half."

"Mega Bites by Amos Quito"

"Life is life, Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium."

"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" wtf ""woah wait its back on again"" no way ""great he's stole my nose now"" im phoning the police"

"F*ck and F*ck are sitting on a fence... F*ck falls off, WHO GIVES A F*CK! Stupidity is a niche! ~Skip"

"Why was the Mexican called a paragraph? Because he was to short to be called an essay"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"

"People wonder why I move to a new place every couple years. The truth is, I'm being chased by a snail with a grenade and a vendetta."