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Joke of the Day

"A bee was buzzing around my head and I was all ""It's not worth it, bro"" and he was all ""Fuck you, let's dance."" Stung me and he's dead."

"Why Can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible. Also, he has Parkinson's disease."

"If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic."

"Day 2 It's been two days since I've been on reddit, hopefully i have the strength to..... GOD DAMNIT!"

"Accountants are very clever opponents. They are used to being underestimated."

"I like my women how I like my wine. 8 years old and locked in a cellar."

"Nuns really stick to the rules. They have quite the habit."

"What do you call a fish that can't sing? An out-of-tuna!"

"Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black"

"I like my women like I like my reality shows.... Naked and afraid."