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Joke of the Day

"Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status."

"Parents, what's the right age to explain to a Fox News anchor that Santa isn't real?"

"What did one helmet say to the other I'll stay here, you go on a head"

"probably the worst thing you could do to an old person is force them to watch you tear up a bunch of coupons"

"Boy 1: ""How did you get that bruise on your arm?"" Boy 2: ""I ate some Easter candy."" Boy 1: ""Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."" Boy 2: ""It will if it's your big brother's candy!"""

"I just got a great deal on a Ray Rice jersey The price couldn't be beat"

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves."

"Where does a fish keep it's money? The river bank."

"I just poked myself in the eyes... I can't see myself doing that again anytime soon."

"What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe? ""My toe sis!"""