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Joke of the Day
"I just got a great deal on a Ray Rice jersey The price couldn't be beat"
Next Joke
"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"
"What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"You can't spell anal rash without Sarah Palin."
"My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously cliche... I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?"
"At the sushi restaurant: What kind of eel is this? Diner at the sushi restaurant: ""What kind of eel is this?"" Waiter: ""Do you love it?"" Diner: ""yeah"" Waiter: ""Then, that's a moray"""
"LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine"
"What do you call two gay rednecks? Super Smash Brothers"
"You know what really sucks? Sluts."
"Hey baby, I'm a power source, and you're the kind of resistor i'd like to deliver my load to."