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Joke of the Day

"Three men walk into a bar... ... the fourth one ducks. edit: grammar"

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"What do you call a potato shaped like a penis? A dicktater"
"There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses. "
"Just got a cat with a limp Called it Oedipus the needipus."
"For my birthday... For my birthday I got myself glasses. So my observational comedy's really improved"
"A Women' Apology I am sorry, But it was Your mistake."
"Whenever I'm picking up my wife I skid to a stop by her & yell ""Come with me if you want to live!"" so she knows she married pure awesomeness"
"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. She never says anything, but I know it hurts that she gets less gifts because of how close Christmas is."
"I chained up my trophy wife in the basement... She's atrophy wife now."
"I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it's the ones we love that hurt us the most."