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Joke of the Day

"For my birthday... For my birthday I got myself glasses. So my observational comedy's really improved"

"At a KKK chapterhouse I'd like to join the Klan. Ok, to do that you must kill six niggers and a cat. What? Why the cat? Welcome to the Klan!"

"The best thing about dating someone with a barbed wire tattoo is knowing that you won't be known as their ""worst regret"" when you break up."

"why did Bob quit working at the toilet paper factory? Because he was tired of working with assholes all day"

"North Korea shows that you don't need religion to be crazy."

"Q: What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? A: The defendant."

"Why are they rioting in Ferguson? Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done."

"I was interviewed today by a Far East Sultan to be a eunuch. He needs a eunuch to guard his harem of 365 women. What an ideal career!! Sadly, The Sultan told me I wasn't cut out for the job."

"One a scale of keystone light to jaeger how drunk are you sir? PANCAKE ok I need you to step out of the car"

"Why is faith greater than science? Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together."