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Joke of the Day

"I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it's the ones we love that hurt us the most."

"My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-("

"My dear Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep. But his 3 passengers all went screaming."

"How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?"

"I had to stop eating clocks, it was too time consuming."

"What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land? A MEATing of the minds!"

"My girlfriend isn't a cunt She's not that deep or warm"

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they don't call me at all."

"Did you read the joke Hillary emailed to Obama? [deleted]"

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as stable."