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Joke of the Day

"Forget Netflix and Chill. It's time for IMAX and Climax!"

"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."

"My doctor gave me a prescription of daily sex My girlfriend insists it says dyslexia"

"Why Are Jews Considered Optimists? They cut a little off before they know how big it's going to be."

"If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist"

"Why do some places have keys for the restroom? They're afraid somebody might steal their shit."

"This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 Because Microsoft 7 8 9"

"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"

"What is the last thing that crosses a fly's mind when it hits the windshield? - it's asshole!"