222080

Joke of the Day

"If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist"

"Doctors in Zurich, Switzerland, in a 14-hour operation, successfully separated the conjoined Facebook account of a husband and wife."

"Anyone know where I could find a bunch of ""Glad You Aren't Here"" postcards to send out when I go on my vacation in a few weeks? I'll need about 50 of them."

"I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements."

"If you thought the last status was good, Check this one out........1"

"Anyone else here able to spell ""condescending narcissist"" correctly on the first try? Yeah, I didn't think so."

"What do you call Judge Judy when she dresses like a vampire? Cunt Dracula"

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a sex doll and a store mannequin? Persistence."

"me: you know they never did catch the zodiac killer guy next to me on the bus: why do you keep saying that"