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Joke of the Day
"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"
Next Joke
"Why are Fencers so popular on /r/Jokes? Because they do well with Ripostes."
"I like long walks on the beach and lying about being married."
"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"
"A cat goes to the vet with a septic infection. Hello Pus, said the vet."
"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."
"What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night."
"Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy? Because all the roads lead to Rome."
"""Let's fly to Russia, get a bucket of water from the Caspian Sea, then put it above the door so it falls on Jeff!"" - Impractical joke"
"Couple of girlfriends decided to go out on girls night. But they had nothing to talk about, because all of them showed up."