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Joke of the Day

"Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road? To put the bones on the other side."

"Hey people that twitter says are ""similar to me"", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!"

"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."

"Fun prank: tweet ""BRB CLEANING MY GUN!!!"" then don't tweet for 8 years."

"If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved."

"When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home."

"Turn a man down for sex, he gets over it. Turn a woman down? Oh. My. God."

"What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink? A double Manhattan on the rocks."

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool."

"In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'"