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Joke of the Day

"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."

"Why aren't scientists harnessing my dog's ability to produce an infinite amount of hair to power the planet?"

"What's with the attitude? I don't know what's gotten into you but I know what hasn't."

"Yo mama's got so many balls lined up ready to score, her nickname is Basketball Practice."

"A genie granted me a wish, i said i wish to turn me into something who always suck the blood of the beautiful women, then poooof, i became a tampon.."

"When is a dog not a dog? When it is pure bread. Told to me by a friend."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."

"It's called ""courting"" a girl because you're supposed to take them to a basketball court and dunk on them repeatedly I hope"

"What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear."

"I got a Ouija board tattooed on my back to trick ghosts into giving me massages."