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Joke of the Day

"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."

"Jesus is a really bad WoW player... ...When he dies it takes 3 days to resurrect him."

"I dropped my cat in the bathtub once... It was the only time i got a pussy wet."

"For a guy who's obsessed with public safety, I think Batman drives a little too fast sometimes."

"In the Bible it was Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve"

"Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened."

"What happened to Loki after he wath hit in hith fathe with Odin'th Hammer? He became Thor."

"Using the phrase ""what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,"" only shows that you're unoriginal and know nothing about spinal cord injuries."

"What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'"

"Han and Leia never planned on having a baby. They decided their form of birth control would be the pull-out method. But Han shot first."