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Joke of the Day

"In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'"

"When someone says ""I need this done yesterday"" it's like I'm not going to be bossed around by someone who doesn't understand how time works"

"Winnie the pooh just died. I know, its hard to bear"

"WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down"

"If a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls, they call him a stallion. If a stallion sleeps with a bunch of girls, they shut that riding school down."

"How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook? With his EyePhone"

"Suicide gone wrong [CORNY] -Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers. -Seriously? And what happened? -After the first two, I felt much better."

"Sometimes, when I'm bored, I tell my mother-in-law to relax."

"All my friends are convincing me to travel to Northwest Territories... But I'm having Nunavut."

"Reddit is really a Green Community, considering that the joke's on you."