131628

Joke of the Day

"The doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia"

"your mom is so stupid.... when I said it was chilly out she ran out the door with a spoon"

"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."

"How many redditors does it take to send a letter? Three. One to post it, and two to repost it."

"Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver."

"Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery"

"How I flirt is how I run. It's funny to watch, I have no form, and I end up sweating like a mother fucker whenever it's over."

"My friend told me I didnthave the confidence to farm rocks. You should have seen the look on his face when I grew boulder."

"What do you call a fish in a hurry? Salman Rushdie."

"an optimist, a pessimist, and a nihilist live in a shared apartment. dah- dum -- crash!"