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Joke of the Day

"My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice."

"What did Sheldon say to Penny? BaZINCa!!"

"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"

"*reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk* ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?"

"how did mario find a ghost? He used a luigi board."

"How Long is a Chinese guy."

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."

"Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown."

"*Cute girls approaches* ""You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move"" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*"

"I was going to make a joke about anal... But fuck it"