170502

Joke of the Day

"My friend told me I didnthave the confidence to farm rocks. You should have seen the look on his face when I grew boulder."

"Stop chicken mass production... You're making them eggs-hausted!"

"What do you call it when you soak a thumbdrive in vodka and shove it up your keister... an upload."

"*Knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""Madame."" ""Madame who?"" Madame foots stuck in the door."

"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""

"What does Supertramp do after buying rice? They take the long-grain home."

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my cock up your ass"

"Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head. --me, getting a shampoo at the salon"

"Where did George Washington keep his Armies? In his sleevies."

"I'm gonna be in trouble when my kids are older and realize how much of my parenting advice is just Kenny Rogers lyrics."