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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish in a hurry? Salman Rushdie."

"I think we figured out which one was Destiny's child."

"Why do gyms produce the best Rebels? Because of all the resistance training"

"My Doctor told me I had the Big C. I asked him to be more pacific."

"My friend went swimming in Egypt recently... I said to him 'you do realize your swimming in one of the longest rivers in the world!'. He didn't believe me though, he's in de nile."

"What is the speed limit of sex? 68, because any faster and you'll flip over and eat it."

"[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!"

"women secrets? Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40."

"iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack 2017: iPhone 8=no battery 2018: iPhone 9=no screen 2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000"

"Everyone keeps returning to the same hypothetical. If loving you is wrong... Bullshit. What if loving you is gross? That's the question."