132741

Joke of the Day

"an optimist, a pessimist, and a nihilist live in a shared apartment. dah- dum -- crash!"

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog."

"What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow? Besides a tiny, brief panic attack?"

"A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off. They called it neigh-balm."

"Why are all Blackberry workers so bad at basketball? Because the always hit the RIM!"

"I'm quitting the blueberry only diet. I haven't lost a pound and I'm getting tired of blueberry pancakes, muffins and poptarts every meal."

"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% other people cheapening the meaning of the word ""genius""."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it be arrrrrrgh, but it be the sea."

"*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins."

"A man using Apple maps walks into a bar... Or maybe it was a hospital? Or possibly a church?"