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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!"

"What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily? Amoxicillin"

"Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe. Well, at least 5/6 people will."

"French pastry bakers are scary They give me the crepes."

"I think the Ice Bucket Challenge is a giant waste of water *falls asleep in the shower for 2 hours*"

"I think the most romantic thing a woman can do for a man on Valentine's Day is to have a vagina."

"Strap-on backwards spells No-parts."

"Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor."

"Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a connection."

"My dad says that if I don't stop typing so loudly, he's gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK"