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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily? Amoxicillin"

"I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)"

"Jerusalem by Don McLean I think the song could be greatly improved if at the line: ""All roads lead to you,"" the singer shakes a fist and yells out ""Take that, Rome!"""

"Today at the bank, a little old lady asked me to help check her balance. So, I pushed her over."

"The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in."

"What do you call a hippie with a business major? A Hippie-crite."

"Did you hear Green Bay (NFL) is in the process of a buyout by Ghiradelli chocolates? They will be renamed the San Francisco Fudge Packers."

"I hate when it rains cats and dogs.... I just stepped in a poodle."

"Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting? I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit."

"Last day of school for my kids. For the next ten weeks, I can stop pretending math is important."