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Joke of the Day

"Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor."

"I hugged someone once and they expected it every time they saw me. I'll never do that again."

"I'm about to have sex with my second cousin. Hopefully she's as good as the first one."

"Donald trump wins presidency"

"""We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls.""- President Barack Obamasaurus"

"Dear Algebra, Don't make us find your X. She is never going to come back, And don't ask Y."

"Why can't you trust a person with two butts? Because they're bi-assed."

"Named my band Scheduled for Demolition so whenever it appears on a marquee, confused people write angry letters to the city council."

"My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks... So I drove her to New Jersey.."

"USA has 9/11, France has 11/13, and Israel has? 24/7"