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Joke of the Day

"Mozart got sick and tired and decided to slaughter all his chickens. They wouldn't stop going Bach bach bach."

"I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn Doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night"

"How is Donald Trump like a VW Bug? They both spew toxic hot air disguised as being good for Americans."

"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."

"Why is the mens bathroom such an angry place? It's where all the pricks hang out."

"An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?' I'm positive."

"Yo dawg, we heard you like Batman So we killed your parents"

"wife: its ruining date night me: its ruining date night because you're letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: just drop me off on the corner"

"Apparently ""cool story, bro"" is not an acceptable substitute for ""congratulations"" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant."

"What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement? A bananosecond"