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Joke of the Day

"How is Donald Trump like a VW Bug? They both spew toxic hot air disguised as being good for Americans."

"What is Hilary Clintons favorite part about going to the beach? Her Flip-Flops."

"I burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza. But I got my revenge. It's poop now."

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon"

"Why would anyone lie about liking big butts?"

"Sex with my ex was like Disneyland. I'd have to wait in line for an hour and a half and when it was finally my turn I wasn't big enough to get on the ride."

"Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain."

"Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window."

"with all of Canada's recent Olympic successes ... I was just thinking that we must ... have been on our 'eh' game. YEEEAAAHHH!!!"