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Joke of the Day

"I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn Doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night"

"There are three kinds of people in this world... Those who can count and those who cannot."

"my Grandma with alzheimer's at my Wedding asked where's the body?"

"*lays in bed* ""Did I leave the oven on? When's the last time I even baked anything? Like 6 months? I should probably still check to be sure"""

"Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"""Do drugs!!"" - Reverse psychology drug prevention program"

"Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4? They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions."

"Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes? Because it's too much wok! [Sorry, I just made that up!]"

"Why do so many girls wear sweaters that say 'SuperDry'... It's not like us boys wear sweaters saying 'micropenis'"

"wife: Why was that guy yelling at you? [flashback to me ignoring the ""one per customer"" sign] me [with a mouthful of cheese samples] No idea"