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Joke of the Day

"Multitasking Whoever said women can multitask is talking bollocks.....I told my missus to sit down and shut the fuck up, she couldn't do either"

"You don't make any sense. I would know because I'm unemployed."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"Heard on Haight St. the other day: Why didnt the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Cause he was just too far out, man. Edit: I work on Haight St. This was in exchange for one cigarette."

"What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation? He packs his trunk and leaves. I should go back to studying now. K bye."

"What vehicle do bicycle riders take to the hospital? An Ambulance Armstrong"

"What do walruses and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"What do you do if you are driving your car in central Manhattan and you see a space man? Park in it, of course."

"What kind of pizzas can tell the future? Medium Pizzas"

"A man gets a $5 hooker a man gets a hooker for $5 and get crabs. the next day he goes back to her and tells her. she says "" what did you expect for $5, lobster?"""