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Joke of the Day
"Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie."
Next Joke
"A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?"
"A guy came to my bar the other day and told me ""hey man I don't have much money, can you just give me your cheapest shot?"" . . I said ""Yeah, your ugly and your mom dresses you funny""."
"A man goes to his doctors who is partially deaf. Man: ""Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a volt!"" Doctor: ""You feel like a watt?"""
"In the competition of female logics, a random number generator won."
"[first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water."
"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
"Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width."
"Creed is Alter Bridge with a stapp infection."
"A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist... -. Do you have pills for the jealousy? -. Yes, yes we do! -. YOU BASTARDS....!"